How is this a compliment?

by Sarah on October 6, 2008

in Daniel,Life

Yesterday I was laying on the sofa when Daniel comes up to me and points out the insignificant, barely noticeable, no point in even mentioning if you value your life, stretch marks on my outer thigh. This was mistake number one. Mistake number two was saying to me “My baby got thick real quick.” Seriously, did he just say thick? A women does not like ANY of her body to be referred to as THICK. Perhaps you can be speaking of her boobs, but then the word would be voluptuous, never ever, no way in hell do you say thick. In my mind, “thick” is just a stone’s throw away from “fat.”

He then tries to redeem himself by saying that the words (that he just vomited out of his mouth) were in fact a compliment. A COMPLIMENT! Daniel tries to explain by saying that I had stretch marks 10 years ago when we first started dating. (Yes, he is STILL talking about them.) The conversation continues with me wondering how he can be so stupid, and him saying that the stretch marks just mean that I grew from a child into a women fast, hence causing stretch marks. By this point I still don’t see where the compliment was hiding. (And if he says “stretch marks” one more time I will be forced to spike his coffee with laxative tonight.)

Daniel then says that I misunderstood everything that he was saying, and that what he was actually thinking was “Boy, you are sexy.” Why the fuck couldn’t he just say that from the start. Let me make it very clear. . . stretch marks DO NOT equal sexy!

I wonder what he will be saying after I have a baby. . .

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Anonymous October 6, 2008 at 1:54 pm

moral of the story: men are retarded.

neither is it a compliment to say anything about our appearance – filling in the blank with whatever: “You look….. TODAY.” Like what the hell, so I looked like shit yesterday?
Or, “you did your hair today!” HOLY SHIT, thanks for noticing, for the last month all I did was wake up and leave. Thanks for noticing. Ur a peach.
PS. How did u find my blog?

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Anonymous October 6, 2008 at 1:55 pm

sorry that was me, Julie
http://www.lulusaysit.com/

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Sarah October 6, 2008 at 5:04 pm

I think you left a comment on dooce.com.

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swingers October 17, 2009 at 3:06 pm

why you are so mad lady? women like compliments just as they like GIFTS, yes thats right and if you are not one of them you are just part of the Standard Deviation.

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